Been very very very busy for the past week. Internship started. Was okay so far. Reading chim stuff. Supervisors have been understanding of my situation, so I hope not to disappoint them too.
After hours have to rush to the hospice for mum. Can't go there early to feed her liaoz, so I let the nurses do it. She's now reduced to eating liquid food (food that has been grind till liquid).
Her legs also keep jerking just now, bcos of the morphine, keeping her awake . When she's finally asleep, i kinda feel a huge relief.
She can't even sit up straight now. Need to constantly lean back. But with that comes with more butt sores. She also need help turning from aide to aide.
I guess the hca workshop did help and I was able to apply what I learnt. Well tried. It got really tiring, and in the end,i still have to call the nurses.
Her talking has also become mostly incomprehensible, muttering to herself. Its only sometimes when she said a proper sentence of words, that it's like a huge achievement to me.
Tried bringing my own work there to do. So I can stay later. But keep getting distracted. Haiz
Feel the strain sometimes. Rush here and there. I find myself more withdrawn from anything. Close friends who know of my situation have been very encouraging. But i feel guilty havin to use my mum as the reason each time i reject going somewhere, doing something.
Esp at yrs, there's alot of stuff to settle and it seems like everyone is doing something and I am just following.
And the latest outings. Tot maybe 1 night can go and destress awhile. But seeing how weak she is already, I think i better try to spend time with her.
Hopefully I can continue to juggle my mum, my internship and YRS, and anything else. And my dad. Haven been talking to him much. He's tired. And I am tired too.
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